It’s been a long year. A REALLY long year.

In fact, it’s been a long number of years for many. I scrapped my blog at one point because I felt it was too self-indulgent. To be honest, I was ashamed of the things I wrote, the journals I kept. Now, with a renewed sense of self and purpose, I look back on those things (thanks Wayback Machine!) and realize they’re not as bad as I thought. They captured a moment in time, where my headspace was at and what I was up to. I have this bad habit of simply eliminating things from the past to start from a clean slate. I don’t know why I do this. I’ve torn out sections of sketchbooks, deleted folders of artwork both digital and physical, writing, blog posts, thoughts, etc. Gone… into the ether.

I have some of my mo-jo back. I’ll be frank, I went through a course of counseling to regain my self-esteem, patience and find my self-worth. With that, I’ve become a better father, husband and friend. Now it’s time to focus on being a better artist. They say that artists thrive on pain and misery to create work with emotion and meaning, but I’m not like conventional “artist-types.” I make my best art when I am happy, relaxed and confident.

When my dad got ill and passed away in 2019, I took some time off to get myself refocused. I had planned to restart my illustration and comic career in 2020, and that was derailed by the pandemic. Sure, you would think that having ample time on lockdown would allow you more time to be creative. Instead, I stress ate and gained 20 pounds, lost any ambition I had for making art or doing anything freelance, and worked more day-job hours because the lines between personal and public space were too blurred. As the sole staffer on the creative team, I had to do everything. The last thing I wanted to be doing after hours was sitting in front of a screen, so TV, video games etc along with webcomics and writing went out the window.

I felt a lot better in late October, early November when the course of my counseling was really starting to change my outlook and help me regain my sense of self. I almost feel like it was a mid-life crisis I lived through and have now come out on the other side without a sports car or a failed marriage, so it’s totally a win. From that, I was able to re-assess where I wanted to go and what I enjoy doing, so here we are. Updated website, plans for new illustrations and comics, and we’ll see where it all goes from there. No expectations, no regrets.

The pandemic rages on outside, but in here we’re brewing a storm of creativity. Time to make something… again.